It can be hard to know what to do in response to coping with a pandemic.
The first step is to acknowledge what we can’t change. Then we’re free to focus on what we can. What we can work on is ourselves. How we look after ourselves, and how we relate to those around us. When we work to improve those things we have control over, we can fight some of the uncertainty and anxiety the pandemic has created.
The most telling consequences of these times is the division between us all, so let's start there. Why not take steps to address the divide? I believe one of the best ways we can do this is by starting with the practice of compassion.
What is compassion?
Compassion can be described as the emotional response we have when we witness another’s suffering, that gives rise to an authentic desire to help alleviate that suffering.
You may be thinking “is this guy serious? I want to know how to stay healthy and sane, not sit around a campfire singing Kum Bah Yah!” And there are many things you can do to improve both your physical and mental health. Let me explain why I believe compassion comes first.
The benefits of compassion
Health benefits
Compassion alleviates anxiety. Anxiety and depression have been strongly related to a focus on ourselves. Compassion turns our attention outwards to others, and can help reduce our anxiety.
Compassion is related to an improved quality of life. It feels better to give than to receive!
Compassion is a buffer against stress.
The practice of compassion has been shown to strengthen the immune system.
Heal relationships
Have you experienced rifts in your relationships because of this pandemic? The practice of compassion can begin to heal those. The nature of this pandemic has separated and isolated us, we need to work deliberately and consciously to rebuild and maintain our bonds. This is most true for those who are vulnerable or may be living on the margins of society - the elderly or ill. It’s important that those who are more isolated because they are more vulnerable don’t get left behind.
I’m not suggesting we ignore social distancing, but there are many ways we can reach out and connect. Compassion can also help to prevent greater division. There are reports of people living in New York fighting in shops over groceries and social distancing. If things in Australia escalate to that level, it’s possible we will witness similar levels of stress-behaviour here. Keep in mind that these acts are manifestations of anxiety and fear. Working on compassion for the person engaging in those behaviours, can help us keep our cool and prevent things from getting worse.
Self-compassion
When we practice self-compassion, it can help us get through difficult times. It’s okay not to be okay, and giving ourselves a break can allow us the space to regroup and get back on our feet. We're all struggling with a lot at the moment: loss of work and income, finding our feet with home schooling, separation from loved-ones. The list goes on. It would be pretty understandable if you hit a few road-bumps as you adjust to all these changes. You’ll do better if you go easy on yourself. Compassion can help. And it’s hard to practice compassion for other people if you don’t do so for yourself!
How do you practice compassion?
Like anything, compassion is a skill that you can develop. Here’s a few tips.
Look for commonalities. You’ve probably heard the saying “we are far more united and have far more in common than that which divides us.” Try to keep that in mind.
Calm your inner worries. One of the best ways to do this is through the regular practice of mindfulness meditation. I plan to talk more about this at another time.
Work to see people as individuals. Be curious about their story, and why they might be behaving the way they are.
Don’t blame others for their misfortunes. That leads to judgement and division, not connection.
Respect your own ability to make a difference. You can have more of an effect than you realise.
Take the time to notice how you feel when you're compassionate. It feels good. Getting in touch with that will help to reinforce the habit.
Don’t be a sponge. Be receptive to others feeling without adopting them as your own.
So there you have it. Compassion can give ourselves and those around us the space to feel accepted even in the face of our struggles. And that can allow us to then take the first steps towards looking after ourselves better. That’s why I believe compassion is the best place to start, to get through these times, and “survive the pandemic.”
Read more about practicing compassion
A lot of the material in this article was sourced from the Berkley Greater Good magazine. If you want more information it’s a good place to start.
Mindfulness meditation apps
Paid subscription:
Free:
If you or anyone you know is struggling at the moment, ACT Health has links to a number of services on their website, including Lifeline and Beyond Blue.
These are frightening times. The pandemic is a very real threat, one which we need to face seriously. But please remember, our ability to survive tough times can sometimes come down to how we choose to view things. There’s no denying the severity of coronavirus. But if we can reframe things and choose to look for the positive in these times, it can build our resilience. The pandemic give us an opportunity to consciously and deliberately strengthen our bonds.
It's an opportunity to develop those qualities we most admire:
our compassion for each other
our willingness to support each other through thick and thin.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Any thoughts or questions you may have are welcome.
I hope to get some more thoughts about surviving the pandemic out to you all soon. In the meantime, stay safe.